Hi, I’m Melanie, I’m 32, and I just got divorced.
Okay, so that’s not really how I like to introduce myself these days, but sometimes it feels like I should. I’ll spare you the sob story but, after being married for five years, I’m newly divorced and the big ‘D’ feels very much like a major part of my identity at the moment.
My ex and I were together for nine years; needless to say, along with all of the emotional turmoil that comes along with consciously uncoupling (and trust me, there’s a lot), I’m now also single for the first in almost a decade. It’s a bizarre, unnerving, confusing, at times exciting, feeling that I’m adjusting to one day at a time.
[perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]While I’m very much still healing, I’m also adjusting to that other big ‘D’ word: dating” [/perfectpullquote]
While I’m very much still healing, I’m also adjusting to that other big ‘D’ word: dating. The last time I was on the scene, Obama was president (first administration, not second). Breaking news: Things have changed. Not only is it strange to be dating again, dating isn’t anything like what I remember. There are apps involved.
But it’s not just the scene that’s different. I’m different. I’m focusing on myself this time around. I’m much more self-aware and feel more strongly about what I want and need out of a relationship. That means that as I dip my toes back into the dating pool, I’m starting to realize what makes me feel better about myself. While I may be wiser and more mature, I’m still the same person—fun, self-assured, open to love, excited for the future. So though I’m still sad, I’m also discovering new ways to tap back into all those positive qualities I love about myself. [perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]”But it’s not just the scene that’s different. I’m different. I’m focusing on myself this time around” [/perfectpullquote]
Enter the power of good lingerie. Besides wanting to step up my undergarment game for the obvious single-girl reasons, I’ve realized that it makes me feel super confident, super strong and super sexy. Swapping my beige cotton bra for a black plunge bra (this one, to be precise) has been making me feel damn good about myself—even if no one else sees it.
Wearing a matching bra-and-panty set is also my jam lately. I can’t explain the psychology behind it, but there’s something about it that makes me feel like I have my life completely pulled-together, and trust me, that little boost can go a long way when life is actually completely falling apart.[perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]”There’s something about matching lingerie that makes me feel like I have my life pulled-together”[/perfectpullquote]
Same goes for sleepwear. I am notorious for sleeping in a full-on sweatsuit, and I’m not talking about tapered joggers with a crop top. I’m talking ratty, beat-up sweats purchased in the men’s department of the Walmart in Buzzard’s Bay, Massachusetts (don’t ask). So lately, I’ve tried ditching that admittedly less-than-come-hither look for cute rompers or silky shorts and camisoles. They’re all things that are still comfortable and I feel like myself in…just a stepped-up version of myself. And while George, my current bedmate (a.k.a. my dog), is unfazed by my new bedtime attire, it’s another little something I can do to treat myself.
Above all else, I’m choosing better-looking underpinnings that I like, not based on what I think the guys I’m dating would be into. (Although, to be honest, it’s just one cute, sweet guy at the moment. He’s gotten a couple of sneak peeks and is most definitely on board with my choices.)
I’m dressing for a new version of me I’m just beginning to get to know.
Set shown above: Simone Perele Promesse Demi Bra and Simone Perele Promesse Tanga
